"The Day Oscar Tomorrow...."

Just some random thoughts from the 80th annual Academy Awards from last night.

-Jon Stewart is a wicked host. Best line of the night when Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova won for best song (Once). After a wicked speech, Jon Stewart "He's so arrogant"

-Solid moment was when they brought back Marketa Irglova to say her thank you, because they cut her off and her speech was solid.

-Best thank you speech may have been a tie between those two and Javier Bardem. The last part in Spanish was a nice touch.

-I liked how there was no front runner this year. It made for much more exciting results, although I think Daniel Day Lewis was a lock for best actor even though I have not seen the film, I had heard enough about his performance I took him in my Oscar Pool.

-Best presenters clearly was Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill. But when Steve Carel asked "is this being broadcast in Belgium?" I lost it!

-The whole bit about the secrecy of the envelopes and results was beyond lame, but Stewart saved it after a nice ad lib joke.


-Viggo Mortgensen sporting a Montreal Canadiens wristband.

-It was awesome seeing an ex-stripper winning an Academy Award...'nuff said.

-I'm pumped that No Country came away with best film. It was one of the few I had a chance to see this year. I can't say it was better than the other ones nominated, but it was better than Juno. I still am baffled as to why that was nominated for best film...

-Overall a solid show, but nothing really memorable sticks out.

Movies I instantly want to see as a result of the Academy Awards:

There Will Be Blood (tried seeing it before but didn't have time)
Eastern Promises
Away From Her
In The Valley Of Elah

Like asking my penis to divide 34 by 19...

My dad always loved the show Married...With Children. I actually enjoyed it a lot to when I was younger. However, a lot of the jokes did go over my head at the time, but every time Ed O'Neal grabbed a newspaper, went offscreen and I heard the toilet flush I cackled with youthful glee.

Anyways, I remember being somewhat torn and confused about some of the females on the show. Of course, I am talking about Peg and Kelly. Now as a young boy, instinctively I was attracted towards Kelly. She was closer to my age, had that bleach blonde hair,was clearly a trick, and just seemed like a fun girl to "expirement" with.

That being said, I was also very partial towards Peggy. Now this defied logic for me at the time, but thinking about it today it makes sense.

Now Peggy was a very attractive woman for her age. Plus she always wore those gaudy outfits, yet they were skin tight and showed off quite an impressive figure. Plus she never walked around, she always bounced and that hair....that huge haven of red curls.
But I think what clinched it for me was that she just always wanted to get waxed and taxed by Al. She was permanently horny...

At the time none of this made a lot of sense, but after all of these years, now it makes perfect sense and my johnson is no longer confused.

It can think clearly now and enjoy things such as lemonparty.

What you can find in matthew mcconaughey's house

I am almost sure matthew mcconaughey now officially has a vagina.
Don't believe me?
I'm 89% positive this is true that matthew mcconaughey owns:

A dusty Tae-Bo vhs tape which hasn't been used since 1996
A Venus Razor (triple bladed)
A scented lilac candle
A Huge Bag Of Doritos
A copy of "Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul"
Sex In the City season 3 on DVD
A Persian throw rug with archaic designs related to birds
3 Industrial size jars of Nair
An autographed photo of Ricky Schroeder circa 1984 Silver Spoon days
Raspberry Chapstick
Pink I-Pod Nano
Jagged Little Pill CD
An abundance of Diet Pepsi
A Jamie Oliver kitchen set
Crest Whitening Strips

And this clip never gets old.......

Celibacy Watch:2 weeks

It's been two weeks since I self imposed a vow of Hollywood celibacy.
To be honest, I have never felt better! Three months will be a breeze!
Since I have entered into this, to be honest, I have not had a lot of time to watch much of anything, but I have rented several Japanese movies and a Singaporian film.

For the most part it's been much more hit than miss, and even the "misses" I still find entertaining, and can take something from them. I have also started getting back to watching documentaries which is something I have neglected the past little while.

Some great ones are available for free on www.66stage.com

I recommend checking out the Senegalese wrestling one.

Hope to have a podcast up soon.

When Mexicans point out movie mistakes...

I was searching for something completely different when I stumbled across this little diamond in the rough.

Seriously, I laughed and I learned.

"It took me like 1...2...Forever...."

The Superbowl certainly lacked "celebrities" this year

I like many last night witnessed one of the greatest second halves of a Superbowl ever. (I'll give you a hint which one it was, not the first one)
As a Raiders fan, it was good to see karma come back and kick the shit out of the Patriots. I still have an axe to grind about the fumble back in '02, but I digress.

But while the game was not short on theatrics and great moments, it was really lacking "star power".

Usually in important games, FOX scans the crowd for celebrities and Joe Buck makes some useless comment, and the hapless sidekick (IE Tim McCarver or in this case Troy Aikman) usually makes a feeble attempt at something witty as well, but it falls flat.
When FOX did their "celebrity" scan last night, they turned up some duds. They showed Jim Carrey, Jenny McCarthy, and Pamela Anderson.

Sure we had Gisele, but she is holding Brady's "sausage hostage", so of course she was going to be there. (It was great watching her drink a glass of red wine while the game was going on)
No Denzel,no Seinfeld, no Chris Rock, even no Matt Damon. (he might be fucking Sarah Silverman, but Eli and the rest of the Giants fucked every Bostonian including Damon last night)

If those are the best "celebrities" FOX can find in the crowd, they need to hire a new celebrity scanner ASAP.
Jim Carey is still trying to figure out the symbolic meanings of "23", (albeit on a screen in an empty theatre) I forgot why Jenny McCarthy is even "famous" in the first place, and Pamela Anderson is just a glorified slutwagon.
Come on FOX! You can give us better than that!

At least we got multiple shots of bigger brother Peyton, who incidentally was dressed as though the Superbowl was going to be played on the deck of a yacht.

So with the lack of starpower at the game, I figured maybe some of them took in the pregame festivities.
Nope.....

Ok, Mary J Blige and Alicia Keyes I can understand...

But the rest?
Pete Wentz? I didnt think this guy could like any more of a douchebag...I was wrong.
Doug Flutie? He was named Direct TV's celebrity bowl MVP. He plays to win!
David Spade?
Kendra Wilkinson?
Stacy Kiebler?

Anything Spike TV advertises as "celebrity", you know you're going to get a steady stream of 2002 Maxim Models, a few decent athletes, on subpar teams, and some semi-popular action or comedy stars.

Next year Direct TV should change the name to the "B" Celebrity Bowl. Because if I paid money for tickets to go watch that expecting to see celebrties, I would have been super pissed.

Great game though.

Willie Mays Hayes can steal home...but can't steal from the government

Some news headlines today as Wesley "Straight To DVD" Snipes was acquitted of tax evasion. He faces some misdemeanor charges, but there should only be a light sentence for those.
Anyways, I am going to look into my crystal ball..and IMDB and predict some different headlines relating to this story.

Prisoner 57

To My accountant thanks for nothing, Julie Newmar

The art of tax evasion

Money Pain

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