I am indifferent when it comes to Garth Brooks. He seems like an ok guy I suppose. He has had a very successful recording career. (In fact, in the United States he is second only to the Beatles in record sales all time)Hell when I hear "Thunder Rolls" I will sing along with chorus and kinda not feel bad about it.
But what I admire most about Brooks is the fact he was that he attempted to become a baseball player and had an alter ego. How many other guys can claim to be a pseudo-ball player, a hit country artist, and a fictional lovechild of an Olympic Australian swimmer? Yeah not too many.
That being said I have generated several random situations in which I think aloud which 1/3 of Garth Brooks would be suited for the situation and why.
Going to the movies (pick 1/3 Garth Brooks as Chris Gaines)Usually those weird, quiet disturbed guys have seen a lot of great movies that are a bit obscure to most movie watchers. Plus he would be quiet during the entire thing because he is depressed so he wouldn`t ask you retarded questions during the movie like `What`s a NubianÉ`
Organizing and having a bbq (pick 1é3 Garth Brooks as Garth Brooks)
Whenever I think of country music fans I think of shotgun weddings, branding cattle, the guy in the simpsons who tried moving the Springfield Isotopes to Albuquerque, New Mexico and artery clogging steaks. So what better guy to help with a bbq than the living legend of country music himself Garth Brooks. For some reason I think Garth Brooks just kills on the bbq, plus after everyone finished their meal, Garth could do a couple country covers like Kenny Rogers `The Gambler` or NWA`s `Cop Killer`. (believe me it sounds awesome on banjo and stand up bass)
Confronting a bully (pick 1é3 Garth Brooks as Baseball Player Garth)
Confronting a bully is never an easy situation. You have to be disciplined, patient, smart, and instinctive. These are all traits one needs to make it as a major league ball player. Plus if shit does go down, and the bully wants to have a throw down, what do you think that pansy ass Chris Gaines or country singer Garth Brooks is going to put up much of a fightÉ HELL NO! You need someone with aggression and a competitive spirit to counter attack with. It`s a no brainer here, baseball player Garth Brooks all the way.
Setting up an alibi after accidentally killing my girlfriends rabbit (pick 1é3 Garth Brooks as Garth Brooks)
Ironically this exact situation has happened to me three times. When you kill your gf`s pet she thinks you`re `irresponsible.` And while that may be true to an extent, you still have the option to lie your face off, get out of it and collect some condolence sex. Anyways, no one believed in Chris Gaines and the San Diego Padres never believed in baseball player Garth Brooks. When you set up an alibi you need to know it`s rock solid through and through. If you say `Honey I was playing skeet ball with Garth Brooks the country singer all day` you know she aient even gonna follow up on that! Country folk are true to their word and dont lie. But if you say `I was playing shuffleboard with Chris Gaines all day` your ass is hers cause she knows you`re lying, and you can forget about topless eggo`s the next morning because your ass will be digging the hole for `Connor Cottontail` out back.
Hustling a few kids for twenty bucks over a game of Guitar Hero II (pick 1é3 Garth Brooks as baseball player Garth)
You would think that I would choose Country Singer Garth Brooks for this situation but no I didn`t and here`s why. First from what people say, it`s actually a detriment if you play guitar and try to play guitar hero. For some reason the skills of playing an actual guitar don`t always translate over to playing a plastic one with buttons instead of strings. What you need to be successful in Guitar Hero is solid eyeéhand co ordination and the competitive desire of a lion`s heart on steroids. Again these skills lend themselves to being a ball player. Granted Garth Brooks baseball player never made it out of spring training, but you catch my drift rightÉ
Picking out a tattoo design (pick 1é3 Garth Brooks as Chris Gaines)
I dunno...lots of weird people have crazy and awesome tattoos. Not that I`m generalizing...
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